But regardless...I need to focus on important things and I can't run around like a crazy person trying to get to these people's houses 30 minutes after my classes end every day. Its stupid. So..I'm reevaluating.
But as for school...its going well. I'm overly overly frustrated with certain things...but I just need to let it go and accept for the 22nd year of my life...that I will always have to work harder than other people. Always. And its always been like that...but for some reason right now...I feel that I am more talented in some areas...more advanced than others...and at times...produce a better final product than other students...but still get the same grade. I HATE GRADES. Who is my professor to say that I got an A- on this project and that my friend got an A. They were COMPLETELY different stories...and yet...she gave the other a better grade because the "story" was more compelling. But...when it all boils down to it...I FOLLOWED THE ASSIGNMENT...and covered a story having to do with immigration..while the other had nothing to do with immigration and instead..the Red Sox. But really...I need to give it up and relax because if I keep putting this kind of pressure on myself...I will explode...literally. I just really hate that when I finally tell myself that something I did was good...and then it gets shut down...I remember why I was so pessimistic about my own work throughout my life. Again...teachers have such a huge impact on students...its gross. I have come to measure my self worth by a stupid letter on a piece of paper...ridiculous.
In other news...my absentee ballot came today...and I'm sending it in. Problem is...living outside of Maryland..I have NO idea about the local people...so am trying to research who I wanna pick. But really...sorry...but aside from the President...I don't really care. Awful mentality...I know. Sorry. I don't have time to care:)
In Sports news...The Red Sox get one last shot tonight. They play in Game 5 against the Rays...who out of the blue have become a force in the MLB? Who knew? Leave it up to the Boston teams to give the underdogs a taste of glory....flash back to a few weeks ago when the Dolphins trumped the Patriots 38-13. I can just see Dan Marino now...
The weather has been UNBELIEVABLE until today up here. I love it. Right now its raining but...it has been the BEST fall weather ever. Around 70 degrees, sunny and a perfect breeze. I could run forever in it. Too bad I don't have time.
Don't get me wrong...I'm not complaining about being too busy..I'm simply trying to rationalize to myself that the extra 60$ a week for another day of babysitting...just has to become something I decide NOT to take. I need to take the lessons I learned in College and apply them now...I spread myself too thin...and because a grumpy human...not something I wanna be known as here...but I feel like its starting. But Yes...the money adds up...but really...I need to take in everything I'm learning in Grad school so I can get out with a job.
Oh...AND...we visited the Boston Globe yesterday...pretty cool...blah blah...but I have high standards because USA TODAY is one of my favorite buildings ever...and a much less depressing environment than the globe. But...the sports section in Boston is having a pretty awful week...so I guess it's understandable.
3 comments:
Vote Christopher S. Barclay for Board of Education District 4. The other candidate isn't committed to making change.
hey morg!!
i totally understand trying to do to much. since you are in school it would be wise to crack down on unnecessary babysitting. it would be hard to chose between getting paid more for kids you may not like vs less for kids you enjoy being with.
cut back now, while youre still beginning school. maybe once you get the flow of school you can see what more you can do. (at kenyon, one class during my first semester was worth two since it had a seminar. by the second semester i realized i could add a 4th class (and get more credits), and i did!) you'll feel it out and figure out what you need to do.
oh and with the ballot, i didnt even vote for the smaller things. i probably should have been a better citizen and looked them up, but since im in the hospital i didnt want another thing to worry about! lol, so i just sent it in with my presidential vote.
ciaociao!
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