Perhaps I'm not so crazy

It has been a time of revelations for me the past few days. Why? Because having been diagnosed with ADHD (how I have the 'H' and my sisters do not is a little confusing and suspicious) when I was a Junior in high school I think (maybe sophomore? not sure) I have been prescribed medicine to help me focus. It changed my life COMPLETELY in high school and throughout college. Instead of teachers assuming I was a reckless, flaky and stupid rebellious student...I finally proved that I had a brain and learned how to focus. I didn't entirely depend on the drugs...I also had tutors and things (which is necessary for those with learning problems--hint to those of you that will be parents ever) and developed study habits and learned to succeed in school. 

As an English major in college...reading some of the most dense literature in the world (t.s.eliot, Milton, Ulysses, and lots lots lots lots lots of Shakespeare) I needed to work extra hard to break things down, analyze and compose hundreds, literally HUNDREDS, of pages of papers throughout college on these topics. It was really hard and I really do think that I would have been less successful without my medicine. Mind you, I don't take the amount I am prescribed...I take 5-10mg which is a QUARTER of the lowest dosage that doctors recommend...so I was not some drug addict hopped up on this stuff. However...now that I am just a writer and I need to let my thoughts flow and more importantly my imagination run wild....the medicine has turned out to be a hindrance to my performance. 

Monday, I forgot to take my medicine and went to work at my internship and had a LOT of articles to write. Instead of getting worried that I was gonna blow it...I got to work and before I knew it....1 hour later, I had completed an ENTIRE 789-word article without a worry. I was a little confused and shocked at the ease I had compiling the article....but moved on to my next task. An hour and a half after that...I had finished another 1,235-word article with no problem. 

SERIOUSLY? You mean I've been able to do things quickly and I never knew it? How? Why? When did this happen? I have none of these answers...and frankly, I don't care. All I know is that 2 weeks ago I spent over 20 hours putting together a 500-word article (this is not a lie...it was ACTUALLY 20 hours...disgusting I know) that wasn't even THAT good. It may have gotten published...but I was NOT worth the stress it caused me.

Now...this week I have completed 3 full articles, 3 press releases (each a page long) and today a 550-word article in just an hour that I submitted to the local paper. WHAT is happening? This is great. I'm much less stressed because I have some actual TIME to myself that doesn't involved researching, stressing or typing. I mean, there is definitely something to do with the fact that I just spent a week in Florida and that it is warm enough and SNOWLESS enough for me to run outside now. But regardless, I am so happy I found this out. 

As for sitting through a 4 hour BORING class without my medicine from 6pm to 10pm tonight? I'm gonna go ahead and say it will be terrible but....whatever. Perhaps I will regain my reputation as the interruptive obnoxious girl in the back that asks to go to the bathroom 5 times a class? I certainly hope so. And this is not to say that I don't think medicine helps this...because I think it does but I think what helps the most...is having the ability to LEARN the way the disorder affects you and LEARN how to cope with it with certain active methods. I think the reason I am doing well without it right now is because for so long...I was learning how to deal with my symptoms as they came about. Since I have already learned the way I am...I don't need the medicine to stay organized and produce coherent thoughts. 

 This and This are what I did on Monday if you have any interest. I won't be offended if you don't...I just thought I'd put it out there.