The End of a Plan

Oh, that photo up there? No big deal, Jordan was just feeling like lounging in a sun chair the morning after our wedding. The two lovely ladies with us are our grandmothers. 

I'm not here to talk about sun umbrellas - even though Jordan loves them.

Instead, I'm here to talk about plans. 

I'm a planner. Always have been, always will be. Or will I?

Making a plan was much easier when I was in high school and there were SO many options ahead of me. Before you get annoyed and think I'm being pessimistic, hear me out.

I decided to play sports in college, write for the local newspaper, chase a dream to be a reporter, complete graduate school in a city I've never known, take a job that showed promise but was nothing I ever imagined, move in with Jordan and ultimately, marry him. It felt like these plans were in the midst for a lifetime and now... 

I've come to the end of my plan. 

For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm really just living. I live day by day and although I'm still a planner when it comes to vacation days (duh, who isn't?) and how I'll spend my weekend - I no longer have a 5 year plan. 

Part of me loves it. I love everything I'm doing and I feel like I'm accomplishing so many fun things in work, fitness and life that this whole obsessive planning theory is getting away from me. 

Jordan will likely say otherwise, as will most of my friends - but internally, I'm just here.

Living.

It's amazing. Until of course I think about how inefficient things will become if I don't have a plan. How sitting idle will waste the time I could be spending planning.

Luckily for all of us, I'm sure this moment won't last long.

Today, though, I'm just trying to enjoy it.

...why I don't believe in procrastination

I almost never put things off. I try to stay "on task" at all times. Not because I'm super organized or driven even, but because I'm terrified of being behind and even more terrified of the feeling you get when there is a seemingly impossible task ahead of you. This fear is to thank for many A's on tests, a master's degree and a handful of second place finishes in timed runs throughout college (shiver).

And then came the thank you notes. I took a leap of faith and put you off until after the wedding. Then, I put you off until after the honeymoon. Then, I put you off until the weekend. Then, I put you off until the weeknights. All the while, you have been slobbing up my kitchen table. Because we all know that if I put you away in a neatly organized folder....I will put you off forever. And that would be rude to all those friendly people who gave me gifts. 

So, my friends, keep checking your mailbox. The note will come. Eventually.

Managing Expectations

I'm a planner by nature. I keep my schedule locked in my brain, I refer to my internal calendar when I plan my week/month/year, I can tell you down to the minute how long it takes me to get just about anywhere, I can tell you exactly what kind of workout I did two wednesdays ago, I know what time every grocery store or laundromat closes on any given day just in case, I have an uncanny ability to pack more efficiency into one day than anyone would ever need or want, I make sure I plan time for "relaxing" or else it will never happen, and I drive myself completely nuts.

All of these qualities have made planning a wedding one of the most amazing, stressful, exciting and frustrating times of my life. I've had a "vision" for what I've wanted for years. Almost three years ago, my amazing roommate Sarah planned her wedding while the two of us lived together. I had never thought THAT much about weddings in general and surely never thought mine would be anywhere in the near future. However, the planning got me hooked and naturally, I started crafting my ideas. So, by the time I got engaged, my platonic wedding had been BOOKED! Then, the reality sets in and I had to be PRACTICAL. God Forbid.

The dress I loved online looked dumb and cheap when I tried it on. The bridal ladies gasped when I said I would never wear heels (that's still probably happening anyway). The color of the dresses I dreamed of flat out doesn't exist. The flowers I love don't match the color we decided on. Do you go with young and fun? Or formal and elegant? Light and romantic? Or funky and modern? A little bit of everything or is that too tacky?

The decisions continue to pile up but one thing is for sure...I'm pretty excited that I'm finally finished wandering around all of Boston, making appointments 4 weeks in advance and trying on dozens of dresses that all look like THIS.

(hint: this is NOT the one we picked)

She's Baaaack and she's engaaaaaged.

I know. It's been a while. Even for those of you who only read my blog because I forced you to, I understand that it's still been a while. But I am back and I have a LOT of catching up to do.

Sitting where I'm sitting right at this very moment, I received a glorious ring and made a promise on September 6, 2010 to be best friends with Jordan Burke for ever and ever and ever and ever. After sharing a cone of "Cookie Monster" ice cream from here and a long walk through the North End, which had just become our new 'hood, Jordan asked me to marry him. I said, "Wahoo!"

Since then, our lives have been busy and my computer has been getting repaired. Hence, the major delays:) But, I don't want to miss this time in my life and am eager to start using these oh-so-talented writing skills that have gone to waste since my new career. But, more on that later. For now, enjoy a few more pictures from our first engagement session and be sure to visit Caryn's website here. For those of you "old" followers, the sweet little girls on our photos are the ever-famous Caitlin and Taylor, my babysitting buddies and soon-to-be flower girls:)

We'll see you on September 3rd!