If you know me at all, it's no secret. I have a sickness. It's worse than my obsession with the spice girls, worse than my night time binge eating habit, worse than the cosmetic appeal of my feet, worse than my insane overbite, even worse than my worst anxiety attack...I twirl and twirl and twirl my hair into tiny knots until I ultimately have to rip them out of my head.
I can't tell you how disgusting it is and how awful it is to know that I'm single-handedly giving myself bald spots. I've had the problem since early high school, I'd say. Throughout college, my friends could spot me on the hockey field, at a party or in the cafeteria from a mile away because my elbow is almost always raised high above my head as I twirl my hair. I could go on forever and no, it's not like that self-mutilation disease where I like the pain or enjoy ripping out my hair, it's a habit that has gotten completely out of control.
People assume I'm stressed when I do it but I'm not. It's a calming sensation when I'm angry, stressed, tired, awake, happy, excited...anything. If one of my hands is free--it's all over.
My shoulder hurt. My neck hurts. My poor, poor naturally beautiful hair is an absolute mess. I don't WANT to rip out chunks of my hair but in the attempt to "untie" it...90% of the time, I have to cut or rip out at LEAST a tiny bit (and sometimes, giant chunks). I'm lucky I have a TON of hair but this has to stop.
I've tried "weening" myself off of the knot-tying and it's getting a bit better...but I'm not there yet. TODAY is the DAY.
I'll let you know how long I last. For now, enjoy the close-up. Ughhh.
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